Magic Sneeze

This afternoon I took my kids to a pool. There were water slides and fun things to climb on. The day was a hot day and the water had a nice chill to it. Boychild was taken with the large slides and pretty much spent his day running up the stairs and zooming down. Girlchild had a fondness for the climbing and the smaller slide. To do my best to watch them both I went in the pool and sat on an underwater bench.

I spent a good 2 ½ hours on the bench, getting visits from the kids from time to time. It was crowded so I had quite an opportunity to people watch. No distractions, no phone, just me and this large group of strangers. Even though my little nook was off to the side, it was a favorite entry point for some reason that was not apparent to me.

So I would sqinch my eyes and prepare for a splash every once in a while. Over my shoulder were two boys, getting ready to join in the fun. I say boys, but really they were teens. I would place them between 16 and 18. The blond one looked almost exactly like Ryan Gossling.

The teen behind him was slightly taller with brown hair.

I prepared for the splash, which came. As the boys waded into the cool water I watched the young girls around the pool start to preen for the Ryan Gossling kid (who I'll call Ryan for this post.)

He obviously had no trouble getting dates, if he wanted them. But he was oblivious to the girls. His attention went to the dark haired guy whom he called Bro. Bro and Ryan walked in front of me and both had sheer delight on their faces. After hearing them speak, I picked up on the fact that Bro had special needs. He was reluctant to get his hair wet but was obviously excited to be swimming.

Ryan turned this first obstacle into a game, taking Bro over to a splashing water tree. Bro managed to laugh through it without getting wet. Ryan chuckled and then jumped on his brother’s back, trying to dunk him. Bro just smiled. He was taller and I’m guessing he was a bit older than Ryan.

Finally Ryan said, “Hey, want to go underwater together?”

In a blink they were under. I could only see Bro, but he was smiling. They played the game of talking to each other while staying beneath the waves. When they came back up it was all systems go. Bro and Ryan went on every slide, every climbing structure together.

I’m not sure I’m going to be able to capture it, the look on Ryan’s face. His love for his brother brought tears to my eyes. It was so genuine. It embodied a younger brother’s hero worship for his older sibling. Despite the giant gobs of girls wishing for Ryan’s attention, he would much rather be with Bro.

So in between eye sweeps for my kiddos, I watched these boys. It was a pleasure to see their obvious enjoyment in a simple day at a pool. Did you ever invent a background for a person? I could almost see a fort made out of sheets and Ryan and Bro camping out for hours as kids.

I also noticed the time when Bro slipped away to voice a concern to a lifeguard. I don’t know what he was saying, but it was obviously something he was worried about. The lifeguard’s face was a quick mask of dismissal and a horrible categorization. Bro was being categorized by his mannerism. I wanted to intervene. I wanted to tell her, “No, wait this guy is so important.”

Bro shook his head and walked away, reuniting with Ryan a few minutes later.

I hated that away from his brother he was seemingly so less cherished.  I’m just me on a watery step, but I wish we could see each other the way a person that adores us does. Is that making sense?

Ryan’s whole universe rose and set around his brother. And the feeling was obviously mutual. I know the lifeguard was way too busy keeping everyone from drowning to be a sympathetic ear. And to give her the benefit of the doubt, she may have responded the same way to everyone I just wasn’t watching her.

The mother was there, of these two exceptional boys. She was quiet, smiling. Satisfaction with a job well done? Maybe. Motherhood is a wicked hard job. Done right, there is nothing more rewarding.

It was a lovely day. Of course, being in the pool leads me right back to my trip report. We were trying to decide if we should go to Downtown Disney or the Hippy Dippy pool. We decided to go to Downtown first and get hot enough to want the pool.

When we are in Disney we always drive around, I wish, wish Disney had their own Driving app GPS thing. Their road signs are hilarious. They can and will send you in giant looping merges instead of crossing a simple intersection. I understand it's crowd control, but you have to master the art of the sign. To get to POP you have to follow the hints dropped by Wide World of Sports. Which isn’t All Star Sports, in case you were wondering.

The hubby usually gets back into the swing of things road-wise fairly quickly. But we're only here for a few days, so by the time he’s got it down pat, we'll be using his street smarts to leave. Either way we wind up at Downtown Disney. We, of course, turn into the wrong parking lot. In that place going into an early parking lot is like going into a totally different country. You have to recombobulate yourself and find an exit, get on the road, wait for three more lights until you're finally in the right spot.

Of course, on day one, you could throw a wheelbarrow full of jellyfish at me and I'd keep smiling.

First day Disney people are bulletproof, diarrhea proof, and damn near sneeze magic.

I was all of those things. We park in a horrible spot, having to surf like sharks to find one. Then we walk the long walk to the stores. I have a weird relationship with Downtown Disney. It can be a sneak peek or a slap in the butt. When you are there before your time in the parks, it is a precursor to the wonderful. Like VIP service, you get to see the products and sights before you actually are in Mouse House.

Butt after the parks…well, we'll get to that.

Right now it's happy times. It’s right around lunch so we decide on the Earl of Sandwich. We've had this place before and both me and the hubby were like, “Meh.”

I don’t know what alternate universe menu we ordered off of, butt this place was AMAZING. I'd milk a tiger right now if it would result in me having one of those Italian subs instantly.

But here’s the thing. There's not enough seating for the crowds. Lord help me, I’m so competitive it's ridiculous. Once my small mind realizes there is a shortage of anything my brain goes reptilian. If it’s scarce I must have it. 

I suck.

So I hastily whisper my order to the Mr. and leave the kids with him. Because they shouldn’t have to witness what Mommy becomes. My eyes hood with my secondary, hard, see-through eyelids. I enlarge my spine like an angry cat. I start farting like a skunk to warn others of the impending danger.

All these other wusses are burdened with food and drinks and children. Not me. I’m a lone wolf prowling for the prey.

I spot the first offering and spring. The table is a two-seater. We have four behinds. This will not work but it allows me a better assessment of the tables in my vicinity. Then I gauge. Who's eating the fastest? Who has the nerve to chat after they are clearly finished ingesting their gruel?

I find two marks and my creepy eyes go from one to the other like a metronome. Finally there is movement. A gathering of bags. Other predators notice the movement, but I’m already up and in a death roll.

I put away my angry eyes, smear my spine back into my skin and halt gas dispersion. When the prey looks up I smile. “Are you done? Why thank you! Yes, I'll take your table if you don’t mind.”

And then I sit. Proud. I display my feathers and pound my chest. Victorious. 

I haz a seat.

Now it may be the first one I get, so it's fast. Butt there's a downfall. This real estate had some drawbacks. The line for the drinks is directly behind this new table. The people waiting for the beverages are perching their rumps on the chairs meant for my hubby and one of my kids like birds on a wire.

I pop off a few warning farts. No one moves. My family sees me and settles in. They don’t seem to notice that their seats have unusual head cushions.  I say nothing.

Can I just tell you about this freaking sandwich? No, actually I can’t. It is so amazing. The cheese, the bread, the meat. All gooooood. I highly recommend them, but stick to what they are famous for.

So we ate and we loved it.

Next up: What kind of things can we get and will someone please go up in that Hot air balloon?


  1. One of the best posts ever!!!!! =-D
    The first part I understand entirely. For the past year-and-a-half I have been an au pair to a multiple-handicapped young girl who is 12 today. Having to privilege of being around her has changed my entire world perspective. Now, she is the centre of it. =-)
    As for the second part, remind me to invite you whenever I need to shark for limited seating! =-P

  2. This was amazing! I cant add to any of what you said about Bro and Ryan. I think what you witnessed is something that barely exists anymore.
    BUT, I can comment on Earl of Sandwich. A-MAZING! I have had their thanksgiving sandwich and had to go back for one more before my trip ended. Now that I live here again, I WILL be there for that sandwich! It is turkey, cranberry sauce(which I dont normally care for) stuffing and mashed potatoes. It sounds messy, but it was a freaking orgasm!

  3. I cried with the whole pool thing> How beautifully put! Sniff!

  4. @Rachel, you totally get it. And I will be happy to get you any seat you want as long as I can sit next to you. (:

    @Marcy NOMNOMNOM that sounds amazing!!!

    @Carol, hugging you. I was so close to crying I was glad I had my sunglasses on.

  5. Although it took me days to get to it, I loved this post! Especially the part about the two brothers. It always does my heart good to see a brother taking care of his sibling, be it exceptional or just younger. I have two boys and my youngest worships my oldest who is very kind to him in letting him tag along. They play a lot of video games together as my youngest has a broken foot (all summer long). And how did he get it, playing at older brother's friend's house. A tag along!

    My sister and I never had that kind of relationship so I'm jealous of it a bit. We still don't have that kind of relationship. She's still a bit of a tattletale so I don't tell her what's really going on. But we are united in the care and concern for our elderly mother so we have that going for us.

    I hope the trip continues to go well and no more warning farts are necessary, but it is Disney in the summer- I'm from Florida, I remember it well! So worth it!


  6. @Heather that is so sweet about your boys. You must miss Florida! I could just dunk myself in oranges and watch palm trees forever.



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