Disney Trip part #8



So I have learned some things in the time between my last chapter and this one. First off, Never ask Mr. A, “How was your day?” when he is in the middle of Hasselhoffing a burger . Second, Vagisil and Orajel are two very different products in alarmingly similar packages.




Back to the trip report.


Where were we? Oh that is right! I was wisely deciding to take the Anastasias to the superpackedalious Magic Kingdom.. As we finish up our time at Innoventions, we head to the Disney Visa pictures. Two cast members are waiting. We show our Disney card, and unlike last time, It actually gets us something special in Disney. The kids walk in before us. Who is there but PLUTO !!! The kids’ two favorite characters! Disney Magic. The kids come out glowing and laughing. I love that special little place. We have fun posing for pictures. and MICKEY


Before we set off to the Kingdom, we decide to make a few essiantial purchases. Mostly Crocs and Croc jibblitz (as GC calls them). We wander over to Mouse Gear. We instantly wish we printed money for a living. The kids pick out some little trinkets. Disney Bus toys and Chip and Dale holding hands in their new outfits. And of course Pluto, in his new outfit. And a monorail. And a shirt for Mr. A. And a Christmas ornament, because we always get a Christmas ornament. Mr. A and I decide to go “a little crazy ”. We would make better adult impersonators if we did this less often. All it takes is a Tuesday, a store and one of the two of us getting a wild hair.


So we stand in front of the glistening rubber/styrofoam of the Mickey Head Crocs. The stand is taller than us. The colors are glorious and plentiful. I'm already wearing a pair of Crocs. Only in Disney would you buy the same exact shoes you are already wearing, to swap them for ones with Mickey shaped holes. As a matter of fact, I wanted those pink Crocs so bad, I would have eaten my black pair if it was a requirement to get the Mickey ones. Do they pump in anesthetic to numb the financial reasoning button in your brain?


So I pick out the right size, and glance at Mr. A. He's looking at his feet. Then he's looking at the Mickey Crocs. Then at his feet. Hmm. I wonder. He has always bucked the Crocs I have tried to force on him. Like a dog afraid of the vacuum. He thinks they are girly. Real men won’t wear Crocs.


In amazement I realize that Disney has the power to smooth over gender boundries like icing on a cake . We are all unisex in Disney. Like the Ken and Barbie dolls with nothing in their pants. Mr. A is willing to stomp on his manliness to purchase more Disney products. Disney marketers are geniuses and we are easy prey.


Me -“Would you like a pair?”
Him- “No... well... I mean I couldn’t wear them in public or non-Disney public anywa.y”
Me-“Only the Drive thru people think you're a girl, no one else, I promise.”


I think of just the week before, waiting with the kids and Mr. The King to be seated at Cheeseburger in Paradise. The lady across from us whips out an exact replica of Mr. A's brand new pride and joy, the Cherry Chocolate Verizon phone. It matches her bag so nicely. Then the next lady we see is wearing the same Keen sandals as Mr. The King .
I don’t remind him.


Him-“Well, I could wear them walking the dogs.”


He had a wild hair... in a store... so it’s on like Donkey Kong.


With two pairs of grown up Crocs and Jibblitz for the kids, and Jibblitz for my new pink Crocs and all the other necessities we picked out we waddle over to to the check out. As we are waiting, we notice a lovely throw. With Mickey and all the parks represented. Me and Mr. A make happy noises about the blanket. It would look so nice in our living room, folded just so. We load up our “essentials” to be checked out. We're informed by the bubbly cast member, that we have spent so much money we are entitled to buy three blankets! Well, we felt like we won the lotto. Disney is letting us buy more stuff! We can buy three blankets! We're so lucky. Excited chatter from the A's.
Him-“Should we buy all three?”
Me-“But of course, we are ENTITLED to them!
Him-


Mr. A talks me down. We buy one. Look at those woman Crocs giving him some sense! Maybe they were a good idea. Next, we are informed that the jibblitz do not work in the grown up Crocs. They fall out. Do I put back my Jibblitz? No! Now I can Disneyfy my old boring black crocs. I'm so glad I didn’t eat them.


We get outside and of course, find a bench near those giant bouncing balls. Those cast members have so much fun throwing those things around. And we put on our Mickey Head Crocs. There's peace in my soul. Finally, I was home in Disney with the Disney approved shoes, I can relax now. Mr. A is having issues. He is slap flopping around in huge woman Crocs. They're way too big. Mr. A worries about returning Crocs that he has already walked in. Please man, we're in Disney take those suckers back! He returns with the next smaller size. And they're too small. Mr. A has an unorthodox, unDisney approved foot size, apparently. I know, I was shocked too. We're working through it, with counseling and lots of booze...but it has been rough. He makes due with the small Crocs by wearing them with the band up. Shame on his foot .


We head towards the front of Epcot. I remember at the last minute to pick up our free Disney Visa picture. We wave goodbye to our tiny tiny heads. And get into the van at the end of the row. Which we couldn't find because our clever little Mickey antenna ball is rendered useless in a Disney lot (Also Wal-Mart, Target, The school parking lot and pretty much everywhere except our driveway). I beg Mr. A to just hit the panic button and we'll find the van but this is apparently like asking him to pull over and ask for directions (the anesthetic gender smoothing magic does not reach all the way to the parking lot). Finally, he agrees to press the button but the van makes no noises.
PC says, "Man, our van is calm."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Well it dosen't even panic when you hit the button" .


Eventually We find the van at the very end of the row where we left it. Have Park Hoppers will hop!




So we hop to the Kingdom. There's something very different about the Anastasia mobile. Something important has changed since the Jiggler was parked in its vehicle. Can you remember what it was?


That’s right, I was in the backseat. Now I'm in the front seat. My Mother had gone home with my father. With her went our handy dandy free cast memeber parking. Usually we have luxurious, multiple day visits with a happy resort pass living on our dashboard. We don’t think of this until we are one car away from the parking attendant.


Do they take credit cards? No
Do we have cash? No


I dig around in my Bagallini and come up with $6.40. Parking is more than that. Mr. and Mrs. A look at each other with eyes as wide as saucers . Will our hop be a flop?
__________________


**PS This trip report was written back when the Verizon Chocolate was new.
The Mr.'s was like so:






and mine was the Mint Chocolate:




I still miss that phone. It was so fun to open and close. Best color ever too. Smart phones are boring looking. My Droid is busy trying to revolt against me now. It won't let me type, which makes things interesting. I have to do speech to text all the time. and you know how well that works, right? Anytime I mention my son's name, the phone reports it in a text or email as "Fishcake."


Fun times. Anyhoozle. That's Disney! This is a hop!!








5 comments:

  1. I've been loving your Disney story. Wishing I was Great Auntie A with your family on the adventure.

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  2. It's always fun to hear the next installment of your Disney adventure! Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Mr. A seriously bought crocs with Mickey holes? Not good. ;)

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  4. Ooh, and you end on a cliffie! I imagine visiting anywhere with you would be a blast. You just wrote a whole post about buying rubber shoes and I enjoyed every second of it.

    P.S. I totally pulled the el-cheapo and Dinseyfied my boring first-generation blue crocks w/ Pirate & Tink jibbitz. :D

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  5. Ahhh Mickey Crocs! It's so funny you mentioned the blankets because World of Disney tried to get me to buy a blanket when I made my purchase there a few weeks ago, LOL!

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