Disney Trip part #12

A woman begins screaming, another joins her. They are staggering through the crowd, right toward us. I am about to hand GC from my shoulders to Mr. A’s arms, so I can help, figuring that they are injured or in distress. Then I notice that their arms are flailing. It looks like they are fighting. They are headed right for the us screaming and sobbing….

As the women draw closer…I find myself day dreaming about pool experiences . Well, not really, but how else will I work in a pool flashback?

Flashback* * *

During our August 2006 trip we claimed the Pop Century Hippy Dippy as our pool of choice. There's a phenomenon during Disney vacations. There's an “us” and ‘them” mentality. The grizzled guests that have been there a while and the fresh crop of park newbies. You come in as a fresh crop, likely to be horrified by the guests who have been in the boiler room August heat, who have become park warriors, Especially if you decide to have a leisurely soak in the pool before you go to any parks. You stuff a pristine jiggler in a swimsuit and give the girls a little fluff. You add your sunglasses, flip flops and sarong. Your fake tan is in place (it only looks like serious bruising in some places) you take your immaculate family down to the pool; edge gently in like baby deer . Ahhh, heaven. 

“Look at the play dough giraffe and elephant, see the finger prints?” 

We all raise a distasteful Grand Floridian type eyebrow at the sweaty, purple, panting guests straight from Animal Kingdom’s humid nightmare diving straight into the pool . Luckily, the heat and exhaustion gets to all of us, and in next to no time, we're sweaty warriors, scaring the newbies with our raccoon inspired sunburns, blistered feet and chaffed thighs . We dunk our steaming selves in the pool, talking loudly about bowel movements.

During that same visit Mr. A and I had a special night out at Coronado Springs, leaving the kids with the grandparents. In the morning, they came over to enjoy the pool with us. The water slide and fantastic pyramid seemed like a great bunch of fun for the little kidlettes. As we arrive the pool is surprisingly empty. All guests are instead choosing to wait in lounges on the super sweltering pool deck. Mrs. A and Grandma get all excited, we love empty pools! Lucky us! Grandpa and Mr. A do not see the empty pool as a good thing. They have this ridiculous thing they like to use called “common sense." It's really annoying to those of us who expect miracles daily . The life guards are making themselves scarce, so the boys go off to find out the official reason for the lack of marinating sweatballs (o.k.….guests) in the pool.

Grandma and I get to talking to a lady in a nearby lounge who has a young daughter. We're big talkers and can get a story out of anybody. The woman told us that her daughter had spotted a turd in the pool. Scarier still, the little girl is some sort of turd spotting expert because, where she went to summer camp, turd spotting and pool evacuation happened daily. (She may have even gotten a merit badge in it). We made polite conversation, but we were wondering in our head why the girl was sent to the big toilet camp. Poor little thing. Needless to say, Grandma and I are dreaming up the various diseases you can get from pooped-in pools. 
Salmonella? West Nile Virus? Cataracts? Don’t pools shut down for days after this type of situation? The boys are back. According to the life guards they were “Checking the Levels.” 

Levels of what we wonder? Poop? Every stray leaf is looking suspicious, but the little expert is staying quiet, so we think there has only been one single turd violation. Grandma goes to speak to the life guards. She's on to them and their secret sun-burnt language. 

“Checking the Levels” is code for “Dookie in the Pool ." By now, if you have read this far, you know we had great fun with this information. Musing, while we waited for Grandma
“Geeze, I hope at least it was a baby”.

This comment then took us to the bad place. What if it wasn’t a baby??? Worse still what if it was a full grown man…

“Be on the look out for any adult that comes to the pool with a newspaper and a roll of t.p.”

If you were at the pool at that time you could recognize us as the group screaming laughing trying to hold themselves up on lounge chairs.

Grandma came back. She, who feels straight bleach is the only way to clean any thing (including all clothing white or dark), was satisfied with the answer from the life guards, and clears her grandkids for a swim in the toilet, I mean moderate-priced pool. We went in. And kept an eye on the turdometer girl. When she got out, we got out.

Ahh, pools. We love a good pool. The Anastasias were overjoyed at the invention of the Intex pool. The luxury of a pool for the price of a really large water balloon. It is our Hillbilly heaven. We have a really small one, but we have really big fun in it. My kids learned to swim underwater in that gizmo, and it cools the Jiggler down. Actually, I think it’s having to see the Jiggler on a daily basis that has inspired my neighbors to purchase very expensive privacy trees. Why not a fence you ask? Well if they had a fence then their dog wouldn’t be able to poop on my lawn. There we are with the poop again. I hope this isn’t my “theme” this chapter (or for my entire report… or life.) Seems like it is though

Well, we recently returned from a vacation to visit my in-laws. Our Intex pool was now our Intex pond. We had run out of chlorine. As we all jump in I am brought back, by the smell, to the lake of my childhood. We had a tippy dock and my friends and I were always on it when the ice cream truck rolled into the parking lot. We would sprint like Olympic swimmers and make it to the beach in time. I understand now, that the ice cream man needed us to make money, and was likely to wait. But, the worst part of the lake, was a sweet, giant German shepard that liked to poop in the kiddie area (here we go again folks) and we learned to swim around the accidents. 

Hhmmm. Weren’t mom and I condemning another mother for letting her girl swim with poop? Mom ? People in glass houses! (shouldn’t throw turds?) Well, my fabulous pool should not look and smell like the lake. So I bought some shock for it. I put in a small reasonable amount. I was not pleased with the results. In goes half the bag. I was so delighted, clapping at my pristine water balloon. I proudly show Mr. A what I had done.

Him: That is a real powerful smell coming from the pool, where's the bag?
Me: I hand him the half that is left.
Him: You put in enough shock for a 6000 gallon pool
Me: *vacant happy look*
Him: Our pool is 600 gallons
This part gets past the blond, soaks in to the very small part of my brain that makes reasonable choices.
We're waiting to see if it eats through the liner. Fingers crossed.

End flashback* * *

Where was I? Oh that is right! The Anastasias were in the dark in danger!!!

Standing in the dark with my loved ones, I felt fear. If this situation gets big and more people are involved in the fight, it'll be very hard to maneuver the family to a safe place. If panic sets in, anything could happen. I keep my eyes on the woman while holding GC. I can make sense of some of what they're screaming.
“Get her out!”
“We need to get out of here right now”
There is absolute terror in the one woman’s voice and the other is just screaming. They're almost in front of us. A tall gentleman standing with his family next to us grabs them with both hands.
He says calmly, “Stop, get away from her, let go”
The screaming woman bursts out in complete terror, “NO don’t, we have to get out”
He physically pulls them apart.
“What's wrong?” He asks as he steps between them.
The screaming woman manages to say, “She hurt her arm.”
“Everyone open their cell phones, I need some light.”
Everyone holds their phones open. He sends someone for a cast member. The woman has a laceration. And both are soon whisked away. The man resumes watching the parade.
I never did get to thank him, because the parade ended soon after. From his quick reaction, I'd guess he's a police man or more likey, a CIA agent. He prevented a panic. I've no idea if the women were drunk, or just overreacting. But it was scary. So thank you tall, quick thinking dude. All of us on the bridge really appreciated your leadership at that bizarre moment.

Then the lights go up. And the smoosh is on. We backtrack and find our naked double stroller. The crowd headed towards Main Street is shoulder to shoulder. We decide to go for it, just walk with everyone. Our sneaky plan of escape has failed. We must wait with everyone else (or so we think). After assessing the situation. The Anastasias decide to cram both kids in the double stroller, It was such a tight swarm of moving people I was afraid we would loose one in the swarm. I walked directly in front and Mr. A pushed the stroller carefully. The bridge was chaos, no pattern of traffic. We lock eyes, getting out is going to be sucktastic.

This is a blog hop! Are you an amazing, sexy author? Hop on! Bras optional!


  1. LOL, the situation with the pool reminds me of the pool scene in Caddyshack where the little girl is screaming at what's floating in the water! Good thing Mr. CIA agent was there to help in the end. :)

  2. Well, looks like there are only two of us amazing, sexy authors today. I went with bra if you care to know, the minimizer.

    And yes, we can be Disney World nuts together - I don't get there as often as you, but what I lack in being there, I make up for in dreaming about it. :)

    Fighting women almost always make me think of pools...

  3. Grace, I love that movie almost as much as I love you.
    Nicki! Tits okay, I'm braless enough for both of us! maybe the Romantic Times has all our peeps? Disney dreaming is a huge past time for me too.



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