Return To Poughkeepsie #9

Teaser #9

Dear Kyle,
I see you crying when you don’t think I notice. I do. I see your eyes, red and glassy with the tears you halted because I came into the room.
I can’t give you the baby you want. Our love should be enough, but I feel it too. There’s a hole in between us when we hold hands. We’re feeling the loss of someone who has yet to even exist. Your smiles are getting smaller. When you look at me I want to give you more, I just don’t know how.
I remember when I first found your eyes, when I first realized you existed. I could hardly make my tongue work. My words were fuzzy, wrapped in cotton. When you were taken from me, I had so much rage. Such a burning need to place my hands on your face, I would have killed a million men to get to you. Kissing your lips, remembering you, safe in that hospital bed is a waterfall of relief for me still.
And then our wedding? Everything blue makes me want to touch you, taste your lips, see your skin wet in the shower.
How can something that isn’t happening come between us? When you’re reluctant to walk past a stroller, when you quickly change the channel to save your heart the sight of a chubby baby, I know you’re aching. You’re building wall, and only you fit behind it.
How can I show you I love you so much anyway? Will you ever understand that you’re just as important as a woman that can have a child? I’ll make love to you whenever you demand it. I’ll hold you tightly when you cry.
If it’s just us, Kyle, if that’s all there is, it’s enough for me. And if that thought makes you sad, then I’ll move heaven and hell until you see a future that you want to be in, smiling, with me. Just step into my arms, let me be here for you.
You’re not protecting me from your pain. I feel all of it, except I feel it alone when you won’t let me help. Come to me. Let me kiss your hair. Let me make love to you for no reason at all.
I’m yours forever,

Releases 12.31.13


Beckett Taylor is a murderer. His calling, his craft are destruction and intimidation—whether he wants it that way now or not. He left Poughkeepsie to keep his brothers safe, to keep Eve safe. Set up with happy lives to live, they’re better off without him, right?

But all his willpower crumbles when he hears his brother Blake’s frantic voice on the phone. An unknown enemy has moved in on his old territory, and Livia’s been taken. In an instant, Beckett knows it will take an attack only he and Eve can execute to bring her back. All his self-imposed embargoes are torn to shreds, perhaps along with the new man he’s struggled to become.

“Brother, call Eve. I’ll be there soon.” 

In this emotional and action-packed sequel to Poughkeepsie, Debra Anastasia conjures a tale of love at its most raw and ragged. With Beckett and Eve, how could we expect anything less? But even when it’s messy, not magical, true love perseveres. Real love finds a way—for better or worse until death does part.


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