Romantic Times Trip Report #RT14 Chapter 4 - Slapped by God


Romantic Times Trip Report #RT14 Chapter 4

I’m not alone in the baggage room. Other customers are looking for their underwear too.

I was mentally preparing to fill out forms, draw a picture of my suitcase, etc. when a Southwest employee saw my Mickey Head luggage tag.

“I just saw that. We have it.” She disappears.



I was pretty damn sure she was remembering incorrectly. Lo and behold she drags out my beast of a case. It’s here! It made it!

Color me surprised and delighted. Hot damn. 

I thanked her profusely. Good job Southwest!

Next up was my cab ride --which was a flat rate of $33. There was a little taxi booth and a nice gentleman who called over a cab. Back when I was in cabs they were yellow and cars. Now they are white and vans. My minivan from home to be exact. The cabby loaded up my bags and I told him where I was headed.

My sister, Pam, is a librarian. 

Karen, Pam and me

I was able to convince her to come to RT with me. She had an event that evening which she luckily made. It sounded fun. She told me the hotel was charming. 

The cabby takes off. Somehow, all the windows in his minivan roll down. I didn’t even think that was possible. It sure isn’t in mine. Then he slaps the gas pedal down. Hard.

We are going easily 80 mph. With all the windows down. My hair is a cyclone above my head.

The wind is so forceful it hurts. Dear god, why does it take this freaking long to get to a hotel. I find my reader glasses and slip them on as safety goggles. I’m all Snoopy as a WWII flying ace in this car. 

I can barely take it. I take a video to show my husband how I spent my last few minutes on the planet. It was like being slapped by God. 

Finally I use my cell phone and find the window control. I was grateful when the window lifted at my command. I met the cabby’s eyes in the rear view mirror. He looked disgusted with me.

We finally get off the runway/freeway/thruway or wherever the hell we were and start rolling through town. It’s pretty freaking lively late on a Tuesday. At a stop light a car pulls up next to us with the loudest, most filthy rap playing ever. And whoever this rapper was, they had great enunciation skills. 

It’s so weird to be sitting in a car with a stranger listening to the word pussy and dick flying around the inside of the vehicle. The red light lasted forever.

Finally the cab pulls up in front of my one night hotel. Due to changing to a plane ride from a car ride at the last minute, we needed a reservation at a hotel that rhymes with West Bestern. I’m not going to say the actual name of the hotel because of what happened there.

I walk in the lobby where my sister had texted me that there was a key to the hotel.  Sure enough I’m handed the key card.

My sister and I have been talking about this trip for months. She’s three years older than me and we really love the hell out of each other. I was excited to see her. She was right, the hotel was adorable.  We had a little balcony, there was exposed brick everywhere. Super cute. I open the door and tackle hug my sister who tells me she is a winning winner. 

At the librarian soirée she’d scored a door prize of crystal goblets. This started a trend of her winning her ass off at the Romantic Times.

My sister is also in bed. I text my best friend Karen, who I also managed to snag into coming on this trip. She is temptingly in a hotel close by. We just want a quick hug. What could be wrong with that idea? Busting out of your hotel in New Orleans in the middle of the night to wander aimlessly hollering for your bff? That’s cool right? 

Next: Chapter 5 That’s not cool.

Chapter 5 Semi-Private Shower

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