DebraAnastasia

MORE Praise for FIRE DOWN BELOW

SO much praise for FIRE DOWN BELOW!! Most from people that haven't even read it. Mind-boggling. Pre-order this epic love story today!! Before it runs out!!! (Okay, it's print on demand and eBook, only an act of Congress can make it disappear. And that's not likely. Okay, it's kind of likely. Shit. :/ )

PRE-ORDER LINKS!!!!! FIRE DOWN BELOW!!!!!

PRE-ORDER LINKS for FIRE DOWN BELOW!!!!

Kindle US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SSGACEM

Kindle UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00SSGACEM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Kindle AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B00SSGACEM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

KoBo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/fire-down-below-3

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id961776576

Nook: TBA

"I'd like to remove myself from this spam list." ~Teresa Mummert NYT Bestseller

"No." ~Jamie McGuire #1 NYT Bestseller

"I have not read this book." ~ Aesta's Book Blog

"If this book is anything like her crazy tweets, then we are too scared to read it." ~ The Rock Stars of Romance Book Blog

"Debra is the queen of s@!ts and giggles." ~ Tijan NYT Bestseller

"Crap. Why won't you go away?" K.A. Robinson NYT Bestseller

"You couldn't pay me enough." Tara Sue Me NYT Bestseller

"You can't be serious." JM Darhower USA Today Bestseller

"That's a big, tall glass of nope." Angie Lynch CEO and President of Shameless Book Club

"This book is about as cringe-worthy as a raging UTI." Helena Hunting Amazing Author

"This book gave my vagina nightmares for a week. What the hell was Debra thinking?!" ~Leisa Rayven Amazing Author

"I like to read Debra's work on the crapper in case I run out of toilet paper." CJ Roberts NYT Bestseller

"I've had the worst gas since I read Debra Anastasia's latest. Rip, full, wretched gas that singes my butt hairs on the way out. A week later I'm still walking funny." Kendall Grey Amazing Author

"This cover gives me vaginal discomfort. Someone pass the Monistat." Tara Sivec NYT Bestseller

"I might read this book if I wasn't so afraid of catching something." Tina Reber NYT Bestseller

"It itches so bad." Ella Fox USA Today Bestseller

"Can I un-read this? No? Do you have holy water so I can wash my eyes?" - King Midian

Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.

Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.

How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is of to a galloping, farting start.

Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.

FIRE DOWN BELOW COVER REVEAL!!!!!!

Fire Down Below is the first in the Gynazule Series.

Summary:

Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.

Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.

How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is of to a galloping, farting start.

Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.

Here’s where you can put Fire Down Below on your TBR list!

It will be released into the wild on 2/28/15

Would you like to sign up for the newsletter instead? Do that HERE

And I will keep you posted.

Complaints can be filed here: debra.anastasia@gmail.com but please be aware that my box may fill up quickly.

Share this sweet bitch if you have the balls! http://www.shalumetta.com/skill/photoshop/
(A huge thanks to Teresa Mummert and Author Jamie McGuire for having fun with me.)

(You will see the support from my amazing author friends as this night rolls on! So fun!)

BLOGGERS!! Sweet, sweet bloggers you know I love you. I have the most ridiculous event planned for you. If you've taken a TUMS you can sign up for an ARC of FIRE DOWN BELOW HERE https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1G7dV_vVvQ7Y5VWqMRoydsoMSJu_XuDo4pWnKWK5txrY/viewform

How Big Are Your Balls!!!

Tomorrow night, at right around 6 fucking o'clock (EST) I will be revealing the cover for Fire Down Below, book 1 in the Gynazule Series. I want to know how big your balls are. Will you have a large enough set to share the cover? There will be a contest, the winner will get to name a character in the sequel. Pick your enemy, your favorite friend. It's an awful gift to bestow on someone.

Print Saving Poughkeepsie Copies!! (Finally!!)

There are 19 in stock right now, so if you were waiting jump on that while they are there. SAVING POUGHKEEPSIE ON AMAZON Then they will fire up another printing.

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Announcing FIRE DOWN BELOW by Debra Anastasia

Years ago in the bowels of fanfiction there was a story that was whispered about among friends. Infamous, really. Debra Anastasia wrote a story that no one else could ever dare to write. Not that anyone would really want to, but that’s beside the point. With its singular title, updates would flare up on Twitter --starting a feverish giggling. Gynazole.

It’s simply the worst story ever told. Actually, calling a story is a bit generous. It was to be endured and experienced much like a group pap smear or food poisoning. With friends.

And now it’s back.

It’s brought to you by Gag Reflex. By Impulses Best Left Un-acted Upon. You know when a someone says, “Smell this -- it’s awful,” and then you smell it? That’s the Gynazule Series. Book One – Fire Down Below will erupt on 2/28/15. My God have Mercy on your Soul.

Summary:

Holy Crap. This damn story. I can’t even begin to tell you what a nightmare it is. Okay, I’ll try. There’s a sexy Pharmacist. Johnson Fitzwell is sexy looking, but his personality is like totally whack-a-do. But he is taken by this witch of a girl. She’s evil and she’s waiting for her 2-karat engagement ring.

And then his customer, actually his very first customer, happens to be this shy girl with a feminine prescription that needs to be filled. And Dove Glitch has to tell him all about lowering his goddamn voice. It’s a blow, he’s not going to lie, to his fragile new confidence as a medical professional.

From Dove’s side of things, she’s embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button, but she really, really would like the Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set.

She’s taken with him and he’s already taken. It’s the pits. When Dove defends Johnson in the most horrible, disgusting way in the center of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.

And you? The reader? Let me put it this way- each print copy will be dipped in Holy Water by my mom and glared at with pursed lips by my father. The infamy that exceeds its ridiculous reputation as The Story That Broke the Internet’s Balls is coming.

Fire Down Below.

Slap on your rubber gloves, turn to the left and cough. It’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.

Release Date: 2/28/15

The cover will be unearthed this weekend. Do you have all your shots? Then you can add Fire Down Below to your to-read list HERE

Bloggers, if you have balls of steel please sign up to be a part of the review tour. I've blackmailed Nina Bocci into helping me by threatening to release her secret meatball recipe that she shared with me in a moment of weakness. HERE

***WARNING*** This story has Extreme Humor and VIVID Second-hand embarrassment*