Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start. Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants, turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Here’s what you, the brave reader, need to know. Fire Down Below has a sequel. I know; everyone’s super surprised that Amazon allowed me to keep the poop-your-pants book up all this time.
In Fire in the Hole, Dove’s sausage-loving neighbor has realized he’s wildly in love with her lurchingly awkward butt. Johnson is the pharmacist of her dreams until he tells her over Twitter—goddamnit—that he has plans with an ex-girlfriend. Duke scrapes Dove off her apartment floor and takes her to his cousin’s wedding. As Pissboy and Cross-eyed Knockers tie the knot, Duke could just kick himself in the balls when he sees Johnson and Beth at the same venue driving Dove insane with jealousy.
Will Dove give up everything, even her self-esteem, to get Johnson’s johnson between her legs? Or will the scent of spiced meat inspire Dove to rip off Duke’s sausage-and-egg underwear forever?
Yup. I can publish this. No law against it… yet.
**13 Authors put their brains together to write ONE story***
Verity Michaels is new to New York City, but even she knows riding in a stolen cab is not a normal way to meet someone. Damn it if that tattoo-covered would-be felon isn’t everywhere now, and lighting everything on fire under her skirt.
His name is Hudson Fenn, and he’s frustratingly impossible to pin down. He works as a bike messenger, but has the manners of a prince—along with a strange tendency toward breaking and entering. As much as Verity knows he’s not her type, and likely to land her in jail, she can’t help but find her truest self when they’re together.
Can she be brave enough to give Hudson a real chance? Will he be bold enough to reveal the man beneath the ink, or will his secrecy doom their connection? Also, WTF is the deal with Verity’s boss? No less than thirteen of your favorite romance writers have teamed up to tell this sexy, wacky, snort-inducing tale. With them you’ll visit the world’s most irritating office, a VIP room of questionable cleanliness, and the fanciest apartment a bike messenger has ever inhabited, but you’ll still never see this ending coming.